Narc Ex Girlfriend Never Talked to Me Again
It took FOREVER to finally leave the person in your life with narcissism, only to realize that in one case you made that fateful determination, your proper noun became mud.
Your ex is non going to let you go without a fight. You're going to be villainized like yous never experienced before the breakup.
All your friends and family will hear how crazy, unbalanced, manipulative, and narcissistic yous are. Your ex volition be certain to strike starting time; you may non want to strike at all, but your paw may seem forced.
Observe a Therapist
The smear entrada of a person with narcissism can exist so disarming. Since, throughout the relationship, you mainly kept your oral cavity close about the issues you lot were having, no ane really saw this coming. When your ex starts to talk negatively about you, with feelings of hurt and strong conviction, others may exist inclined to believe what they hear. They had no idea how "crazy" y'all were, merely now, if they think about information technology, they do recollect the time you did x, y, or z.
Similar many people with narcissistic qualities, your ex tin exist a main manipulator. They can plow on the sad eyes and tears, convincing everyone how dearly yous are loved past them and how clueless they are almost why information technology ended so abruptly. Maybe it's menopause or a midlife crisis on your part. Apparently, something is incorrect with you.
The smear entrada may even work with your children. The children have become so accustomed to an abusive relationship that the concept of scapegoating seems normal. Blaming and villainizing others has been modeled equally adequate. They may come across nothing abnormal nigh making you a target of wrath. And since they love the parent with narcissism, they likely want to win their favor, which makes information technology all the more easy for them to bring together in the campaign.
The Anatomy of a Smear Entrada
Here's how a good smear entrada works:
- It more often than not contains an element of truth. For instance, if the person with narcissism complains you lot abandoned the human relationship, well, this is true. They will probable proceed and on about how all they e'er wanted was to love you and stay with you, only y'all, in your evilness, flippantly left the relationship—for no reason other than y'all don't care about anything other than yourself and can't proceed your commitments.
- It is done with implication. The person with narcissism may say something like, "I don't want to audio mean, just certain people, who shall remain nameless, have me worried." The person with narcissism may imply that, no matter how hard they take tried to help you lot or bargain with your issues, you are irreparable. Some people—you being one of them—are just hopeless. Implication can exist a very constructive tool. Those listening come up to their conclusions nigh you based on this subtly nefarious input.
- It is too done overtly. Sometimes the person with narcissism merely comes right out and says it: you are a no-good lunatic! They will tell story after story nigh all the awful things you lot've done. They will accept every vulnerability you've revealed to them and use information technology at present, along with fabricated-up information, to tarnish your reputation and slander your proper name.
- It is relentless. No i holds a grudge quite like a person with narcissism. They tin carry a silent treatment to the grave but as well as they tin acquit a smear campaign. They are relentless. You may be shocked and dismayed by the battlefield you find yourself navigating. Never take you encountered such an enemy.
How to Deal with Narcissistic Attacks
What can you exercise if you observe yourself in this position? Hither are some tried-and-true suggestions from those who have gone earlier you:
- Learn to value yourself above anyone else's opinion. The only way a smear campaign can work is if you lot let information technology to. If people choose to go along with false accusations about you, so yes, information technology hurts—simply you don't accept to let it destroy you. You can acquire to not care what others think about you.
Yep, you do deserve defense, but being caught in the trap of trying to get others (and the person with narcissism) to run into your skilful heart tin get a never-ending battle. Information technology is easier to only tell yourself, "They aren't going to encounter," and move on.
- Remember why you left the relationship in the first place. You were devalued and discarded. Y'all did not leave to continue to be disrespected past others. If others are going to jump on your ex'south narcissistic bandwagon and join their hater campaign, simply walk away and remind yourself that you deserve respect.
- Resist the urge to defend yourself. While this may exist easier said than done, it is an important concept. Think when you were in your relationship? You likely felt defensive often. You probably tried to explain yourself thousands of times, to no avail. Y'all ended up being caught in all kinds of "gotcha" traps. So now that you lot're out of the relationship, understand that this person continues to endeavour to command your emotions in similar fashion—causing you to doubt your motives, your good nature, even your sanity. Yes, you do deserve defense, but being caught in the trap of trying to get others (and the person with narcissism) to see your good center can become a never-catastrophe battle. It is easier to simply tell yourself, "They aren't going to see," and move on.
- Brand a preemptive strike. In other words, make friends with your "enemies." Allow them get to know you personally. It's a lot harder to detest someone you know well. If yous can befriend the people your ex is targeting for their entrada, you may be able to touch on some damage control. If the people being targeted are family unit (including your children), tell them your side of the story. Let them know you are the target of a smear campaign and to not believe what your ex is maxim about you. Inform them your ex is creating "spin" to the bespeak that what they are saying is fiction and a waste of time to believe. Be forthright, convincing, and business firm. State your side once, then let it go.
- Spend your time well. No thing what others think or exercise, you really take no power over them. The only person you take ability over is yourself. Regardless of what others do with their thoughts and actions toward or confronting you lot, y'all cannot control them. You lot may be able to influence them, just that is all. Don't spend a lot of your precious energy trying to make others run into the truth. Spend fourth dimension with people who don't gauge y'all—those who value you and assistance you feel supported and loved. Enjoy your life!
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Source: https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/leaving-person-with-narcissism-here-comes-smear-campaign-0920174